and again..

been having one of those weeks. the kind that can't end fast enough. i find myself swirling in a sea of "what if"s. and the funny thing is i can't seem to put my finger on exactly why this week is so "tough." it might be the daily glances at the past, the confusion of the present, or the tension/excitement/terror at what might lie ahead. i have found that i run my life in a pattern. i go in a circle, moving but ultimately ending up right back where i started. it is very frustrating. i'm unsure of how to get out of this continuous cycle. and this is one of those days where i decide to stop walking and sit down. at least i'm kind of breaking the pattern for a moment (even though i'm still on the same path). maybe i should enjoy this time of rest. pick flowers. look around. let myself settle a bit before moving on. it's hard to wait though. it's hard to not rush back to what's familiar. i'm just glad tomorrow brings with it a brand new day. hopefully one with less tears and heartache. yes, that would be very nice.